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You called her… you texted her… you emailed her every single day. But now that she’s not your girlfriend, should you still stay in touch? You’re no longer dating, but does that mean you can’t be friends?
In today’s world of instant and total communication, it seems almost illogical to stop talking to someone you shared such a constant and close connection with. Sure you broke up, but deleting your ex from your list of Facebook or MySpace friends seems a little harsh, doesn’t it? And do you take her off your email lists when you send out funny jokes, videos, and other stuff? Trying to stay friends after a relationship ends is a dilemma faced more and more these days by couples everywhere.
But think about it for a moment. Just how close do you want to stay to your ex girlfriend? Do you really want to know what she’s up to… who she’s seeing… and when she begins dating again? Will you be able to handle it when your exgirlfriend starts seeing other guys, or will it make you jealous to the point where your stomach hurts?
Before asking the question can you stay friends with your ex girlfriend, ask a different question first: do you still love her? Do you want your ex back? Because if so, friendship is actually the last thing you want… even if she suggested it (and especially if she suggested it).
If your girlfriend asked to stay friends after the breakup, it’s because she’s not happy with the idea of losing you completely. Even if she’s the one who dumped you, your ex would rather see a gradual detachment where the two of you stay in touch. This allows her the freedom to date other people and keep you at arm’s length (”Hey… we’re just friends now!“), but at the same time know exactly where you are and what you’re doing. It’s comforting for her to know she can get you back at the drop of a hat, so she suggests staying friends. For you though, friendship with an ex girlfriend is a sucker bet.
Do you really want your ex back? Then work toward that goal. Don’t substitute friendship for the relationship you really want, hoping and praying that you can use that friendship to somehow get close to her again. The reality is that you won’t get close – in fact, you’ll drift further and further apart. The longer your friendship lasts, the further removed you’ll be from her thoughts. Your ex will begin to see you as a friend first, instead of someone she once dated. And the only kisses you’ll be planting on her will be the occasional friendly kiss on the cheek.
Believe me, you do NOT want to watch your exgirlfriend date other guys. You don’t want to hear about her exploits, issues, problems, and new conquests. You cannot sit back and pretend to be her good buddy as she comes to you with every little thing that happens in her life. When her life doesn’t involve you in it… it becomes a lot harder to hear about.
You cannot stay friends with your ex girlfriend – not if you want her back. By withdrawing from that situation, you can create a scenario in which your ex begins to miss and need you again. There are specific reinsertion techinques you can use to get back an ex girlfriend even after you’ve agreed to be friends with her, but these methods can’t work until you’re honest about your own intentions.
About the Author:
There are 8 Individual Steps required to Get Back Your Ex Girlfriend when she just wants to be friends. Learn what they are, and find the best reinsertion techniques at Winning Your Girlfriend Back!
Article Source: ArticlesBase.com – Can You Stay Friends With Your Ex Girlfriend?
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